


Lavendrous Remedy {Anxious! FemReader x Hannah Anafeloz }

by spookycrypt



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Backstory, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Female Relationships, Femslash, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Female Character, Physical Abuse, Reader-Insert, Romantic Fluff, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 19:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11238027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookycrypt/pseuds/spookycrypt
Summary: Your family has been indebted to the Trancy household and as long as you can keep your anxiety under check, you have sworn to yourself that you will honor your word and pay off the debt as a maid in the manor. But can you really keep yourself from constant attacks working under such a cruel and sadistic master? It seems all hope is lost until one of the maids takes you under her wing and shows you true kindness and love you've never felt before. But will your classic morale and past allow you to open up, and let her slowly become your sinful remedy?





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! I started writing this on Quotev but decided to move this over to a bigger audience as well. I originally started this as a just-for-fun project and assumed no one would pay any mind to it, but it blew up so now it's become a more serious project. Hope you all enjoy!

_Breathe in..._

  
You inhaled through your nose for four long seconds.

_Hold it..._

  
You shut your eyes tightly, clenching and unclenching your hands to give you something else to think about other than your current situation.

  
_One..._

  
You couldn't believe your parents did this to you...

  
_Two..._

  
Your dead parents that is....

  
_Three..._

  
Cruelly left you in this world while they frollock around in the next, leaving you to deal with the heavy burden they left behind...

  
_Breathe out..._

  
You finally let out your breath through your mouth and continued this breathing technique for as long as you needed.  
  
 _Their timing couldn't have been more inconvenient..._  
_______________________________________________________________  
  
You don't really remember much from your past life, or at least you keep telling yourself that to save your sanity. Your parents were pretty well off on their own but they were always biting off more than they could chew. Years ago they decided to build their own pocket watch business so they could live like royalty and in order to do so they needed a little help so they borrowed a loan from a wealthy earl who was more than eager to help. This was around the time they were almost completely absent from your childhood, building up their dreams and leaving you in the care of the family nanny. Completely oblivious to the world around you, you didn't really care just as long as after your studies you got to go outside and play in the tall grass field till the peak of exhaustion, then to come inside for tea and attempt to bribe your nanny into giving you extra cream and jam.   
  
    Your days continued like this for as long as you could remember. You even caught yourself calling your dear ol nanny "mother" a few times which resulted in a harsh scolding. But you couldn't help it. You grew fond of your only company and couldn't see yourself without her. That is until the stocks went under and your parents could no longer pay the Help. The very moment she heard the news, your beloved caretaker packed her belongings and marched straight out of the house, never once looking back at you or responding to your questions or confused looks. Your second mother never cared for you and saw you merely a chore. And it only got darker from that point. You found it harder and harder to distract yourself from the world you once ignored, but seeing it crashing down around you was a complete shock to you and affected you in ways you never thought it could. Your favorite books now seemed dull and colorless, the tall grass that was once a magical kingdom to you now seen as merely drying weeds, and all the cream and jam in the world could not get rid of the bitter taste in your mouth.  
  
"Here sweetie take this and swallow it."  
  
You look up with curious tired eyes at the pill your mother was holding out to you. You didn't know for sure but something didn't feel right. You knew she was your mother but being away for so long those strings of love that connect a mother to her child were completely severed. Now all you saw was a tearful stranger offering you what looked like candy and you knew your dear nanny taught you better than that.   
  
Her voice cracked a little as she attempted to smile reassuringly, "It won't hurt you, dear. Just make you a wee bit sleepy is all. But don't be scared, your mummy and daddy are right here with you and we'll just go to sleep together, like a family, just like old times, yes?"  
  
 _Old times?_  You stared at her stretched out hand containing the pill and tried to recall any memory that might have confirmed her statement but you couldn't find a single one. You don't remember being a family, hell you don't even remember them. Whatever they had planned for you, for them, didn't feel very familiar but you took the pill. Your mother immediately pulled you into her arms and quietly shook over you and covered the top of your head in her tears. Your father silently pulled an arm around her shaking figure and enveloped you in between them. As their hitched breaths slowly began to fade, so did the sound of their heartbeats and pulse as they both collapsed around you. When the authorities finally showed up it didn't take long to figure out what had occurred, seeing your still sitting figure, capsule concealed tightly in your fist, staring blankly into the abyss while your now dead parent's bodies pooled around you.  
  
Your parents could not live up to the mistakes they made and attempted to make a suicide pact. Only one problem. You chose not to go with them.

  
__________________________________________________  
  
It was hard swallowing the truth at such a young age. Dealing with the death of your parents, how they almost succeeded in killing you, and taking away everything you held dear, you completely lost it and broke down. Without any known relatives to take you in, you had no choice but to be sent to a boarding school with the hopes that a change of scenery would help you cope with your trauma. It wasn't until after many panic attacks, your head swarming with irrational thoughts and constant worry that everyone was out to get you, you were diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. You were informed of various breathing techniques, keeping yourself distracted and taking good care of your health would help your symptoms. So far your breathing seemed to help keep you at bay whenever confronted with a problem but you were going to need a lot more than just air to help fix this problem that is the cause of your condition now, sitting in the school garden, eyes tightly shut to block out reality.  
  
You were finally finishing school and decided to take on a job as a governess outside the country. Sure it seemed like a big step and it would require lots of planning, packing and saving up but you didn't care. You were planning to use this opportunity to shed off your old skin, leave your horrid past behind forever, and start fresh in a new world. But your sunny sky soon started to see clouds as soon as you went to turn your paperwork in and was face to face with a huge amount of debt which kept you from acheiving your dreams. After demanding an explanation, you were shocked to discover your parents requested a loan from an Earl by the name of Alois Trancy to build their now fallen company and never paid back any amount to him. Being the only surviving heir, that debt was fallen onto you, but was put on hold due to the lack of paperwork on your whereabouts which have now been discovered. You weren't sure to count that as a blessing or a curse, being thankful that the debt wasn't bestowed upon your younger naieve self who you were sure would've cracked under such pressure, not that you didn't feel like cracking now.  
What were you supposed to do? You respected yourself too much to become a prostitute, and you weren't confident that you could simply marry a nobleman who could pay off the debt for you, so you had no other choice but to schedule an appointment with the Earl himself to seek out your options. The very idea sounded horrid but it was the one thing in the way of the peaceful life you yearned for and you'd have to face it eventually.  
A voice interrupted your thoughts to inform you that your coach had arrived and if you were ready for your long trip. After gathering yourself and exhaling one last time, you turned to the speaker with a blank composure and simply nodded. Your face never faltered from your hollow expression as you tried to calm your anxious thoughts on what could possibly be lying ahead.  
  
 _Mother? Father? I pray that you are in hell paying for your sins. Because of your greed I have to pay the price!_


	2. Welcome to the "Family"

_"People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt, and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on." - Eckhart Toll_

\-----------------------------------------------  
  
You fidgeted around uncomfortably in your seat, gently tapping your nails against the porcelain cup you were sipping from to calm your nerves. This strong new environment was overwhelming and was testing your tolerance to the point of calamity. To keep yourself at bay you began drinking in your surroundings: the color of the carpet, the gloomy butler who escorted you inside, the flavor of tea that you were drinking, the ticking of the grandfather clock being the only company in the lounge. (Was it always this loud?)  
  
 A plum color suddenly caught your eye as you glanced towards the doorway to your left and flinched as you saw a man dressed in white long-sleeved shirt, brown vest, and black trousers with plum colored hair that captured your attention. Another servant in the household, you concluded. You weren't sure how long he was standing there but you put that thought to rest to keep you from overthinking and placed your attention on what looked like sheets of frilly lace and fabric in his arms. Maybe he was replacing some old curtains? Adding some trimming to the furniture? Hopefully not on the one you're currently residing in, as you would feel awkward for keeping him from his work. He faintly smiled, or so you thought, before sinking away into the abyss leaving you dumbfounded. Was he even really there or did you hallucinate?  
  
"Miss, the young Lord will see you now."  
  
You jumped at the sudden monotone voice behind you, twisting around to face the dark butler who though stayed composed, you could almost see the amusement in his eyes at your jumpiness.  
  
"R-right..."  
  
He bowed and you followed him down various corridors that seemed to get darker and darker with each step. You did your best to avoid eye contact with the gloomy butler and tried concentrating on your passing surroundings to ease your dread. Something about this house just didn't seem right. Sure it was intimidating with superiority like any other household resided by nobles but there was something else that just made your spine tingle. Like the very walls were hiding something sinister and you didn't want to stick around to figure out what it was. Something even seemed off with the servants, or at least the ones you've seen so far. Their faces stayed poised and professional but something in their eyes looked inhuman. Almost like they were all sharing some inside joke. Unfortunately for them, you were perfectly fine not being in the loop.  
  
After admiring the vintage print wallpaper and trying to count each potted plant you passed (seriously, why did they need so many? And how are they still in bloom with no light?) you noticed the same servant from earlier walking down the opposite end of the hallway carrying something that looked heavy. You squinted a little, thinking he looked a bit different from earlier. Or maybe you're hallucinating again? When he got closer you saw the item was a very well decorated vase, possibly hand painted and happened to be your favorite colour at that. Observing him closer you noticed he had red eyes, that reeled you in. You've never seen anyone with such an unusual eye color before, was it a genetic disorder? Possibly albino? He suddenly turned his gaze away from you and quickened his pace pass you and you lowered your head to the floor to cover your heated face. You hope you didn't offend him for staring.  
  
 _Just keep quiet, don't be rude and stay calm..._  
  
You kept repeating this to yourself as the butler reached the door to what you believed was the Earl's office and lead you in. You squinted and shielded your eyes, trying to adjust to the well lit room compared to the dark hallways as a loud voice shouted from across the room.  
  
"About bloody time you got here! I've been bored to tears waiting for you!"  
  
You lower your hand from your face and freeze in your spot as you see who the voice belonged to. Standing in front of a large window beaming in sunlight, stood a young boy with platinum blonde hair, icy blue eyes and quite a horrendous fashion sense, clothed in a long plum colored dress coat, green vest, short black trousers with long black stockings and brown high heeled boots. He just looked...downright silly. This couldn't possibly be Mr. Trancy right?   
  
 _Just keep quiet..._  
  
He's still just a young boy! Well a young adolescent but in your eyes still a child nonetheless. You were about to ask the butler if this was the "inside joke" everyone seemed to be keeping until the young boys voice interrupted your thoughts.  
  
"Is that any way to greet an Earl? And close your mouth girl! You look like a codfish!"  
  
You immediately closed your mouth, not realizing you were gawking.  
  
 _Don't be rude..._  
  
 He quickly pulled away from the window and skipped to his desk and plopped in his chair. You followed his gesture and quietly  So this was the Earl. He's very young...and quite rude too. But maybe it's due to inexperience you hoped. Maybe you had a shot of sweet talking him into dismissing your debt, seeing you doubted he could be well educated in economics or business matters.  
  
 _Just stay calm..._  
  
 **"BOO!"**  
  
You shrieked and jumped a good three feet in the air as the young Earl poked his head from underneath the desk and pounced at you near your knees.  
"M-My word!!" You gasped after a few heavily breaths and clutching your chest, almost as reassurance your heart was still there. The Earl smiled deviously and began to laugh wholeheartedly.  
  
"So you do speak! Good, I was starting to think you were stupid or something! We can't have this visit being boring can we?"  
  
You stared at him at a loss for words and he continued to laugh, twirling around the room a few times before leaning against the desk facing you. This seemed a bit too close for comfort.  
  
"Now onto business! What was it again that brings you to my humble abode?"  
  
You cleared your throat quietly and hoping to sound as professional as you could.  
  
"Well you see Mr. Trancy, it appears that I-"  
  
"What was that? I didn't quite catch that."  
  
"Um, yes. Mr. Trancy, it seems we have a-"  
  
"Your speaking skills are horrible! You squeak like a little mouse.  **SPEAK UP**!"  
  
You let out a startled yelp as he roughly pushes each side of your chair, causing you to wave your arms wildly in hopes to keep you from tumbling backwards. When you regained your balance, he was on the other side of his desk, back facing you while skimming through a stack of papers in his hand. You clamped your hands together to keep them from shaking.  
  
"I already know why you're here girl. Your dear mother and father, (M/N) and (F/N) were filthy greedy pigs, guzzling every drop of wealth they could get their hands on, disregarding anyone in their pathetic lives, including their own precious daughter, just as long as they could count their coins by the end of the day. Isn't that right dear (Y/N)? Am I on the right track so far?"  
  
Your breath hitched in your throat as you buried your shaking hands in your gown. Just how did he know so much about you and your family? Finances is one thing but getting into such private matters was absurd! But he continued on his lecture.  
  
"The only reason I even agreed to giving the loan to those ingrates was because I knew in the end I could milk them dry into nothing. They'd be crawling back on their hands and knees like the swine they are and beg for sanctuary. Beg and cry like the vermin they are!"  
  
He voice rose with his insults as he started to laugh maniacally, as though picturing your dead parents crawling on the floor in front of him like dogs begging for scraps. You held back your tears stubbornly, not wishing to show any weakness to this obviously sick individual. Clearly he got a kick out of the misfortune that was provided for your family and even predicted the fall so was this your repayment? To have your family's failure rubbed in your face? His laughter stopped abruptly as he trotted over to where you were sitting. His once bright expression darkened within seconds and his voice was harsh and above a whisper.  
  
"But then they had to go and kill themselves. Like the cowards they were, they just couldn't live up to their failure and just dropped like flies! They even tried to take you along for the ride! Not only did they insult me by not begging me for forgiveness but also had the nerve to just drop dead! And without my permission at that!"  
  
He slammed his hands on each arm rest of your chair as you quickly covered your mouth with your hand to conceal another startled cry. His face shadowed over as he began to slightly tremble. You weren't sure out of anger or silent laughter but it scared you completely out of your wits. It would be just your luck that your parents took out a loan from a complete loon. Suddenly his head shot up and he flashed you a huge Cheshire grin.  
  
"But then you lived on my dear. And I came up with the most brilliant idea. Since they couldn't grovel for me, why not you take their place? I'm sure they're watching you from heaven right now paying for their mistakes and it causes them much grief. Isn't that wonderful? It's the ultimate form of passing judgement. Witnessing their own daughter licking my boots for their own screw up's. And there's NOTHING they can do about it but watch from above! Now, **KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD**!"  
He then kicks the chair backwards making you fall out onto the floor. Before you could pick yourself back up you feel the heel of us boot harshly press your face into the carpet as he laughs above you.  
  
"Now beg! Beg for forgiveness as your parents watch you in shame from heaven! Do it now!!"  
  
You sniff, tears begin to stain the floor as your cry silently. What else could you do? His heel was digging into your neck giving no hint of giving up so you sob out your apologies to the Earl.  
  
"I'm sorry..."  
  
"What did I just say earlier? Speak up!!"  
  
"I'm sorry!"  
  
"Louder! They can't hear you!"  
  
 **"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!!"**  
  
The young earl broke out into a psychotic laughter as you continued to scream out over and over again until he seemed satisfied by your actions. He then finally lifted his heel off you but didn't retract it. You inhaled hard feeling he wasn't quite done with you.  
  
"Now kiss my foot better. Putting a dog in her place took quite a strain on my ankle."  
  
Your lip quivered helplessly and you cradled his foot, careful not to add any pressure and pressed your lips against the top of his boot. You felt sickened by this but your kept telling yourself if you just cooperate then you can finally leave this awful house as well as this country forever like you planned. He smiles, content with your submission and leans against his desk in satisfaction.  
  
"That was nice. I feel years of frustration and strain slowly being relieved. Now, about your debt..."  
  
You slowly rose your head up in shock. He took notice of this and snickered.  
  
"You didn't think this one act was going to repay what you owe did you? Oh no, this was payment for all the pending anger your parents caused for me for being cowards. Not for the finance."  
  
You gritted your teeth as it took every nerve to work up the courage to find your voice even though your rapid beating heart and mind was telling you to zip it.  
  
"P-Please! I'll pay you back every pound! I'll get a job! Two jobs! I'll even work holidays. Even if it takes up my entire youth. I'll get you the money."  
  
Amused by your attempt at being noble he just waves his hand in the air dismissing your words.  
  
"I know you will dear. You don't have a choice. That's why from now on you'll be working for me."  
  
"...Excuse me?"  
  
You felt like the world just froze in place. Did he really just say that you'd be working for him? He casts an as-a-matter-of-fact smile your way and slams a piece of paper down in front of you.  
  
"I know you heard me. I already know you have zero experience in the workforce. So you will work here in my manor until every amount is paid back."  
  
Though you really didn't want to look at the paper your eyes found their way towards the bold print and just about bulged out of their sockets on the amount. Surely your parents didn't take THAT much from him did they? Or is this including interest over the years? Your heart had been pounding nonstop and your mind was starting to go numb and feel like mush.  
  
"See? Aren't I just so nice giving you a job just like that? You'll be here for a very long time though."  
  
You don't remember much after that. Your mind collapsed at the shock and physical strain, you wouldn't be surprised if your expression was complete stupor. You had to sign a few papers, probably signing your life away to this maniac and after a few exchanged words between the Earl and his butler, his attention was back on you.  
  
"You're a funny girl, I think we'll get along just fine...as long as you obey."  
  
You felt him pat your head softly as if comforting a dog, then he started twirling around the room in complete bliss. You slowly started to catch yourself again when he suddenly shouts for one of the servants, who less then a few seconds entered the room quietly. You slowly turned your head towards the door and saw the familiar plum haired servant who you were still questioning if he was real, seeing every time you saw him he looked the same but different somehow. This time he was holding a bouquet of freshly cut roses. On any normal day, they would look lovely but the blood red color of them made you want to vomit.  
  
"Escort our dear (Y/N) to her new room Thompson. I think she broke."  
  
The servant by the name of Thompson just simply nodded and walked over to your slumped form. He offered his free hand which you took and were pulled to your feet. You felt numb all over as you left the room and were lead to what you assumed were servants chambers. You didn't bother looking at your surroundings, seeing the need to calm yourself down was beyond useless at this point. Thompson stopped in front of a room and opened the door leading you inside. A little curiosity left in you, your eyes skimmed the room. There wasn't much other than a bed, a dresser, and a nightstand. But what you weren't expecting was the pile of fabric on the bed that looked all too familiar. But it wasn't fabric, it was a maid's dress, neatly tailored and ironed like it was made that day. Thompson silently glided to the nightstand and placed the red roses into a vase which you now realized was the same one you saw him carrying earlier.  
Your mouth was hanging slightly, trying to find words to express your shock as the blood started rushing back to your head as you frantically turn to face Thompson for answers.  
  
"W-What's all this?!"  
  
You gasped as your mind shattered as you saw not just one, but three of him at the same time. They looked exactly alike other than their hair being parted separate ways. You were almost sure you completely lost it until they answered at the same time.  
  
 **"Your welcoming package Miss. Welcome to the Trancy household."**  
  
Your knees finally gave out and you fainted.


	3. First Day at the Manor

_"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength." - Charles Spurgeon_

\------------------------------------------

  
  
Your eyes flutter open and are greeted with dark gray. You assumed it was dawn or close enough to it. You slowly rose from your sleeping position and observed your current surroundings. When your gaze laid on the silhouette of the vase full of roses everything came flooding back. You felt numb all over. You weren't sure if it was due to your previous attack or due to the dead silence and darkness that surrounded you. Or maybe it was the suffocating reality that you now must call your life. You were now a slav-  
No! You immediately scolded yourself. I am a temporary maid, NOT a slave!

  
True, your situation at hand wasn't the least bit pleasing, but there was no need to be dramatic about it. And at least you're getting something out of it. You were guaranteed freedom once you were done repaying your debt. Then you were free to walk out those decorative doors...right?

  
Now that you remember, you signed a contract. But what exactly did they say? You were so stunned by the Earl's violent behavior you didn't pay a lick of attention to what he put in front of you. Much less what you might've signed your life away for! What if you gave him rights to everything you have left? Or worse, your body?   
You place your hand delicately over your now heated chest due to the new stress. Clearly, you don't want to be even more upset than you already are. Especially on your first day when your mind must be clear and attentive to your work. Trying not to dwell too much on your thoughts, you slowly rise out of bed with a slight creak. The wooden floor was cold to the touch but still did not take away the numbing feeling still dormant inside you. Noticing a wide mirror on the other side of the room, you silently walked towards it of curiosity. You don't remember the last time you took a good look at yourself. Sure you were wary of a few hairs out of place but you never really considered yourself vain enough to always keep a lookout on your everyday appearance. 

  
You kept staring back at the reflected figure in front of you. Due to the poor lighting, it almost looked ghostly. Like a ship lost in a grayish fog on the harbor. You almost question it's existence if you weren't so sure that it was in front of you. Now that you thought of it, you remembered hearing superstitions about mirrors and how they were supposedly gateways into the spirit world. You vaguely remember at your parents funeral being in a small church and questioning the mirrors being covered with white sheets. According to an elderly gentleman, it was so the souls of your parents could get to heaven safely and not get trapped in the mirrors. It didn't make a lick of sense to you at the time but you nodded your head in respect for the new information. This thought suddenly sent a ball of dread into your stomach. What if you were looking at a lost soul right now instead of your reflection? Or what if your soul was being sucked out of your body and into the mirror to never escape? What if your parents were gazing at you right this moment through the looking glass? What could they be thinking? Are they saddened by their deeds and how they've affected you? Or are they mad that you refused to come with them?

  
A small glint of fire suddenly caught your attention in the mirror. Maybe it was a soul? Fear and curiosity filled your mind as the flame later revealed to be attached to a candle, which was attached to a candle-holder, which was held by a white-gloved hand, which was-

  
"Good, It seems you're already awake."

  
You whipped around at the sudden voice and faced the gloomy butler who you assume was here to wake you for the day. He was dressed in his usual black suit, carrying a small candle that very dimly lit your dark room, casting shadows across his slightly amused face at your scare. The way his amber eyes glowed in the light he looked...downright sinister. Like nothing but pure mischief was on his mind. This made you take an involuntary step back.

  
"No need to be alarmed. This is the first and only time I will be giving you a wake-up call. After that, it is completely up to you whether or not you are on time."

  
Not waiting to hear your response he places the candle on the nearby dresser and heads for the door. Without facing you he gives you further instructions.

  
"Servants are to be up and ready by dawn. Breakfast for the Young Lord is always prepared and served to him at seven sharp, leftovers and choices untouched are given to the servants to finish. We gather to discuss chores of the day and distribute the workload in the lobby every day. Be sure to be on time because orders will not be repeated or reminded. You can handle that much correct?"

  
Before you can open your mouth to answer he opens the door. Not before adjusting his glasses with the tip of his fingers and facing you, his smug expression never leaving his lips.

  
"Good. It would be wise to start dressing properly for the day. Surely you don't intend to insult the Trancy name by showing up in your underlings."

  
He slipped out of the room, not waiting to hear any protests or noises of offense that you may make at his crude remark. Your cheeks flushed you marched to the door, hoping to give him a piece of your mind for talking so lewdly to a lady, servant or not. You swung the door open only to see him already down the hallway, newly lit candle in hand.  
Just how was he able to do things at such an inhuman speed?  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
You quickly walked down the corridor, hoping you were going in the right direction. Not being able to get the butlers words out of your head, you kept adjusting, re-adjusting and re-re-adjusting your attire, hoping it seemed professional enough. Shoes were tied into a snug fit and were carefully observed for any scuffs or scratches. The cuffs on your sleeves were properly folded and buttoned into place, collar fluffed and necktie neatly tied in a bow. Not exactly sure what to do with your hair, you pulled it into a tight bun hoping it would give you a professional vibe, even though you weren't exactly sure what you were doing.

  
A plum color caught your attention as you saw the servant from yesterday trotting in one direction. 'Thompson' was it? You thought about calling out to him but stopped yourself remembering there were three of him. Were all three of them named Thompson? or maybe you imagined three of them due to your meltdown? Deciding it's wise to keep quiet, you started following him in hopes he was heading in the same direction you needed to be. He turned sharply into another corridor and you sped up your pace, hoping not to lose him, but once you made it to the turning point he was nowhere to be found. He couldn't have gotten too far, especially from what it looked like it was a dead end. But before you could race down the hallway to be sure, you caught him with your profile vision walking hastily down the hallway you just exited from.

  
Was he messing with you now? You gritted your teeth in frustration. You were not in the mood for this. Especially not so early in the morning and on an empty stomach at that. Seeing where he was going you dashed down the hallway hoping to catch him before he turns into another corridor again or, God help him, you were going to wring his neck. He suddenly disappeared again but that didn't stop your pace. You weren't going to let him get away. A small beam of light caught your eye and your nostrils were filled with a delightful aroma. Like freshly baked scones and tea being brewed. You got closer to the light, which revealed to be from a cracked door as the pleasant scents became stronger and you forced your way through the door.

  
"T-Tho-"

  
You blinked in surprise you skidded to a halt. You were now in a brightly lit kitchen, occupied only by two people; Thompson and the butler.

"Oh good. You're finally here. If you dallied around any longer you would've been 18.47 seconds late. Can't have that on your first day can we?"

  
 Completely dumbfounded, you looked for something, anything, to say but couldn't. How could you possibly explain what just happened? You glanced over at Thompson pulling out some baked goods out of the oven. From the looks of his powdered covered hands and apron hugged around his hips, he couldn't possibly have been walking around while baking scones at the same time. Before you could ask, a pile of plates and silverware were shoved in your hands.

  
"I'm afraid we do not need much help in preparing the meal, since our Lord is very picky, so instead you shall set the table for his Highness. You can do that much right?"

  
You huffed a little at his never ending need to insult you but in no mood to argue, you nodded. You quietly entered the dining area when you noticed someone else in the room with you. But this time it wasn't plum colored hair, but more...lavender?

  
Forgetting about your previous white rabbit chase with Thompson earlier, you stopped in your tracks and observed the new face in the room. Attached to the long pale lavender colored hair was a grown woman with light tan skin. She was dressed in a long-sleeved indigo dress and a white apron, accompanied with white stockings and Mary Janes. Of course, it was just a standard maid uniform but oddly enough she just seemed...extravagant. The bruised palette fit her features so well and brought out her gentle blue eyes and light purple lip color. (You weren't even aware makeup was acceptable in the dress code.) You felt a slight vibration in your chest, unsure what the feeling was. If you were in a normal everyday situation, one would claim this to be jealousy, feeling threatened by another woman's beauty in fear she would make yours seem plain. But in your scenario, you felt pure admiration and a swarm of relief to see another woman other than yourself in the household, and another maid at luck!  
You didn't realize how much you were admiring her appearance until you heard a discreet clearing of the throat coming from the other maid, making your cheeks slightly flush. You were half expecting a scolding or a dirty look, but instead, she gave you an amused smile. Placing the last piece of silverware on the table, she wiped her hands on the front of her apron and slowly began walking in your direction, possibly to give a formal introduction. You began to move forward as well and-

  
"Are you quite done in here? If the brat sees you dallying around like this, you'll be getting worse than eating the carpet you know."

  
You quickly shot your head around to see Thompson only a foot away from you, holding a tray piled with fresh scones. You flinched at the closeness, not even aware of how he managed to sneak up on you, and realized a moment too late that your grasp on the pile of porcelain dishes had loosened. You scrunched your face shut, waiting for the horrendous shatter of them hitting the floor.

  
But there was silence.

  
"Now Canterbury, you mustn't talk so ill about the young Lord Trancy. And scaring the poor girl out of her wits will not make our work go any smoother."

  
You relax your face to see the maid calmly walking back towards the long table, dishes in hand, and delicately placing them down. You held your empty hands up in shock. Just how did she do that? You never even felt her fingertips, much less felt her rush to you to catch them. Still stunned, you rushed forward to finish your job setting the table, feeling guilty for not doing the one assignment you were given. And a simple one to boot.

  
"I know you three can be quite...playful, but please keep your devious agenda to a minimum with our new colleague. After all, she is not...of our caliber." 

  
You felt another jolt go through your body as she said this, but you managed to keep your composure and finish setting the table as directed. Her tone was gentle but her words sank in, leaving you a tad worried. Just what exactly does that mean? Again with the secrets! Seems this household is full of them and you're completely left out.

  
"Will do Miss. But she's still quite the jittery dunce, she is."

  
You mentally scoffed offensively and looked up to see Tho- or was it Canterbury? That is what the maid just called him. So you weren't imagining triplets the other day? To answer your question, the door opened to reveal a flour covered Thompson holding a tray of various food items, causing a warm and sweet aroma in the room. Canterbury's eyebrows furrowed.

  
"Oi, Timber you daffy twit! What a mess!"

  
Timber? So neither of the men were Thompson after all. This was all too confusing. But you tossed your thoughts behind you to concentrate on the current situation. From the door to the kitchen, there was a small trail of flour from the powdered male. He looked behind him unfazed by his actions. He glanced over at you, expression never changing but blurts out almost amusingly:

 

"Maybe Lord brat will force her to clean the floor with her tongue."

  
Your jaw dropped slightly as you let out an offended squeak. Do they not have any filter for what they speak? This was the second time they've joked about your calamitic experience the other day, and you did not see why it seemed to be the punchline of the day. And just how did they even know about that? You peeked up to finally give him a piece of your mind but the other maid cut in.

  
"That's enough you two! There's no time to argue. Lord Trancy will be here any second now. We must tend to this immediately!"

  
Everyone immediately scattered and you awkwardly followed, scavenging around the kitchen to find a rag. It didn't help the floor was a deep mahogany red, but fortunately solid so it would be an easy fix. After wettening a rag and dabbing the mess up, you quickly dispose of the material and walked back into the dining room. You silently praised yourself for at least being able to do one thing right, even if you weren't responsible for the trouble. You finally saw Thompson walk in from the other doorway with a vase full of freshly cut red roses and places them neatly on the table, and joins his two brothers on the opposite side of the room. Not sure where to go, you followed their example and joined the company of the other maid, who kept looking straight ahead with a blank expression. Quite the opposite of the warm and welcoming side you saw earlier. In a soft but warning voice she whispered:

  
"When the young Master is present, you address him simply as 'My Lord' or 'Young Master'. Never make eye contact with him unless spoken directly to and do not speak to him unless you are spoken to, is that clear?"

  
You straightened your posture and nodded confidently. She shut her eyes for a brief moment before returning to her previous form. The door swung open dramatically as Earl Alois Trancy enters the room, causing the air to thicken. In the corner of your eye, you saw the maid tilt her head down and shake ever so slightly. You felt a twinge of worry, feeling the ounce of confidence you had started to falter. You knew first hand Earl Trancy was a cruel individual, but you couldn't imagine the things this poor woman went through to make her tremble in fear just from his presence alone.  You indirectly gazed at the triplets on the other side of the room in hopes for a reaction from them. They didn't seem frightened but their character changed drastically from foul mouthed to complete silence. You'd see them whisper to each other every so often but it was so quiet you almost believed they were simply mouthing their words. The young Earl casually walked to his seat, humming to himself. He seemed to be in a good mood. That is until he took his seat and his cheerful expression melted immediately into a look of irritation.

  
"Another bloody bleak morning it is! Claude, what needs to be done today? Hopefully nothing booooring!!"

  
The butler suddenly appeared behind him, pulling out a small list of parchment paper and with a quick adjustment to his glasses, he began reading off the schedule of the day. So far everything was going smoothly. Claude seemed to be keeping him preoccupied (you guess that's the butler's name, were you ever properly introduced to him? Or anyone other than the Earl himself at that?)  and all you had to do was stand here silently right? You noticed the maid wasn't trembling anymore but she still looked stoic and alert. This was a good sign, right? Your curiosity suddenly got the better of you, without moving your head you gazed at Claude in wonder. 

  
He was his usual dark apathetic self and didn't seem to have a care in the world. Quite the contrast compared to the rest of the staff. Just who exactly was he and why did his position seem so...exclusive? He paused suddenly, turning the paper on the other side to continue his lecture but only to slightly glance back at you through his lashes as if he knows you're watching him. You stiffen when he locks his gaze with you but shockingly does not stop "reading" the parchment. How is he doing that? There's no way he could've memorized something like that in such a short period of time! You weren't sure but in a flash, you could have sworn you saw his golden amber eyes turn into a glowing fuchsia. You didn't even have time to blink and before you could stop yourself you let out a small gasp.

  
"What the hell is this?!"

  
Both you and the maid flinch hard and the whispering triplets straightened immediately at the Earl's outburst. He stands up, his chair falling back to the floor with a loud thud as he storms his way to the other side of the room near the kitchen doorway. You realized he was talking about the area with the flour. But you cleaned it up, there's no way he-  
"Just who is responsible for this eyesore?! And they did such a horrendous job trying to cover it up!"  
You looked over and froze. During your hasty cleanup, the water dried and left a few noticeable dried patches of wet flour on the floor. Your heart just about sunk into your stomach. This was just perfect. But it wasn't entirely your fault! You weren't the one covered in flour so he can't pinpoint you out. That is until he harshly grabbed you by your wrist.

  
"And if it isn't the dear bloody mouse who is our messy culprit! Can't even properly present herself in the presence of a Trancy!"

  
You were at a loss for words until you caught a glance at your elbow. And there it was, some flour managed to patch itself on your sleeve, strangely in the shape of a hand print. You didn't recall touching any of the flour other than cleaning it up. Unless...you look over at the triplets in accusation and see them again whispering amongst each other. Before you could protest you were thrown to the floor.

  
"If you want to be dirty then stay down there! You're repulsive!"

  
You were about to pull yourself up but the look on his face dared you to move or else there would be dire consequences. You looked up at him in an attempt to explain yourself only to be greeted with a harsh slap that echoed through the room.  
  
"And you DARE to look up directly at your Lord? What an ill mannered servant! Just what shall I do with her Claude?"  
You began to shake uncontrollably, fear overwhelming you. You felt you were slowly beginning to go insane. You just couldn't take this kind of treatment anymore!  
  
_It's okay, just breathe. Remember to breathe..._  
  
"...maybe I could gouge her eyes out. She can't look at me with her filthy eyes if she no longer has them does she?"

  
Nausea overwhelmed you. You tried to remember your breathing technique but your mind became so numb you almost forgot how to breathe. Without thinking you crawled yourself into a ball and began hyperventilating, feeling your throat tighten as if you were being choked by ghostly hands, you began praying for relief.

  
_No, help! Please, I can't-I can-breathe! Breath, no- Nanny please, help me!! I don't want to die!_

  
Your vision suddenly went black. And suddenly your heart rate dropped drastically. You were greeted with a very sweet balsamic floral fragrance that seemed to drive you deeper into serenity. You almost thought you died. Suddenly your vision came back and you were able to breathe again. When your blurry vision straightened into a picture of normality. Alois was back in his chair downing a cup of tea, smiling warmly to himself while the other maid was also on the floor clutching the side of her face.   
  
"Oh dear (Y/N) that was quite amusing! You looked just like a fish out of a water bowl! And since this other idiot volunteered her wretched face other than yours I suppose I can forgive you for this mistake. Just try not to make a habit of it. I am very busy after all."

  
You looked over at the maid worriedly, and you gasped in sheer horror as she smiles reassuringly, moving her hand to reveal bruises and her eye bleeding profusely.


	4. Roses of Crimson Monachopsis

_“ To hear the phrase 'our only hope' always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn’t work, there is nothing left.“ -Lemony Snicket_

\---------------------------------------------------------

  
  
You just…could not believe it. Days have passed since that horrific event and it was still fresh on your mind. The way the young Earl acted out with no remorse. The look of fresh blood pouring out of an open wound. The way no one dared to move an inch to aid her as if this was the norm. But was even stranger was the lack of reaction on your end.   
Ever since you woke from your attack, you felt oddly…calm. You were so used to your fragile heart jumping to every sudden movement or sound. But now it’s as if someone switched it off. You couldn’t have possibly gotten used to the poor treatment already.  
Just what kind of establishment was this?

  
After her injury, Trancy dismissed her with the wave of a hand, murmuring on how her blood was spoiling his appetite. It wasn’t until a few minutes later, everyone else was dismissed to their assigned duties of the day. Today, you were assigned a job to tend to weeds outside with Thompson. The one triplet you keep confusing as all of them. You expected to be upset, especially after the flour incident, but you assumed the scene was too much even for him. Any ounce of former mischief completely vanished, leaving him and his brothers completely silent.

  
You decided silence was good. After all, you were thankful you didn’t have to be stuck inside the house. Less chance of running into the strange butler and his malicious young Lord. You already decided that you utterly refused to call that little demon your Lord. Earl, yes, you weren’t in any position to strip him of his inherited title. But to call him your Lord would mean you’ve accepted his ownership of you. That you had respect for his life. Absolutely not! Why you would never!

  
You got so caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t even catch on to Thompson side eyeing you while he also pulled at the dead roots.

  
Lord indeed! Why I’m starting to question his humanity! No decent human being could ever be-

  
“Don’t.”

  
Your eyes widen slightly as he suddenly grabs your hand away from your work. Before you could ask, you took a close look to see you almost grabbed a hold of a dried out vine covered with thorns. It oh-so-conveniently collided perfectly with all the rusted colored plants, you could’ve pricked yourself. You look even further to see quite a few crimson colored roses. It seems you see this particular flower a lot around the mansion. You weren’t surprised at all if the Earl favored such a bold and violent color, like blood. Thinking of that made you picture the poor Maid again. But Thompson spoke again to keep you from pondering it further.

  
"I….apologize for Timbers idea of a prank…” 

  
You were genuinely surprised now. Was he serious? The whole lot have been so shameless and impossible to work with, but he was being…remorseful? He didn’t make eye contact. 

  
“We tend to find hu….newcomers fascinatingly humorous. So easy to fool and toy with. We’ve tried with Claude but he’s such a bore. No sense of humor.” 

  
You failed to see the humor in getting you in trouble, which resulted in horrible things, but you let him continue. You were honestly more stunned by how much he was talking. All together they just spoke in a few sentences or less.

  
 “So when you arrived, already shaking like a leaf, we just couldn’t help it. But then when….” 

  
His face darkened.

  
 “…I’m just sorry she had to be the punchline. She’s the only one we have respect for in this entire mansion really.” 

  
You frown but stay silent. He clearly wasn’t apologizing for your sake. But why wound he? You’re strangers to each other. But you were at least relieved to see they were capable of showing some form of respect to someone. Or have some sense of morality at least.

  
“It…would be to your best benefit not to anger the brat…” 

  
You turned your head to face him. Just where exactly did that warning even come from? Was he reading your mind earlier? And what kind of advice was that? You’ve been trying not to anger him since day one! But it seems even the drop of a spoon would set the Trancy into a fit of rage. But you decided not to push the matter. 

  
“….I’ll keep that in mind. ”

  
 ——————————————————— 

  
 You wipe your hands on your sides as you walk back to your room. It took all day mending the grand garden, so your hands felt quite dirty, despite washing them twice. You decided a few drops of rose water you had stashed in your belongings might do the trick. After all, you were certain Trancy would have something to say on how a lady shouldn’t present herself to an Earl in such an inappropriate manner. The very thought made you sneer. You open the door to your room. The color red catches your eye and for a second makes your heart sink.

  
The roses...

  
You almost forgot about them. Your "welcoming gift" from the Triplets. If you were another woman, in another life, in another life situation, you would've loved the gift of beautiful vibrant flowers such as these. But this is not quite the normal life now is it? Staring at them gave you an unfamiliar feeling. Not necessarily disgust but more...forlorn? Detachment? You couldn't process the proper word for it. Despite their original intention to make you feel welcomed or even feminine, they stood more as a reminder of you being stuck here. How despite your intention of clinging to your hopes and dreams to leave England for good and start a new life have you slipping down a sludgy slope of ellipsism.   
Just how long was paying back Trancy going to take? Just how much labor a day equal into compensation towards your family's debt to him? Truly, it must've been great enough to bother contacting you in the first place, but you didn't want to be walking out of those decorative doors, limping as an old hag. The very thought horrified you.  
You walk over to pull your small trunk from under the bed. Even before this situation, you only packed necessities and very minimum personal items that you didn't already toss out, due to foul memories that clung to them. You carefully pull out your glass bottle of rose water and began dabbing it across your hands, wrists and a little on your neck. The smell of roses was definitely not your favorite. To be honest, the main reason you even bothered to buy it was because you thought the bottle was beautifully crafted. Maybe once you finished it, you could make your own perfume that fits your tastes better.   
Satisfied, you place your things away and head out towards the main hallway again to prepare for the evening. You were beginning to find your way around, but sometimes it felt like this house was a labyrinth. Maybe you just didn't have a sense of direction, because now you were down a hallway that looked completely alien to you. Just how exactly did you manage to even find it? Much less get lost in it?

  
You began to hear low murmurs a few yards in front of you. You were so relieved to hear other voices other than your mental one, you began to quicken your pace before stopping abruptly when you finally recognized the owner of the voices.

  
Or at least one of them.

  
If the Earl Trancy didn't have such a distinct way of talking, you almost wouldn't have known it was him by the way he was speaking so....contently. And not the sickeningly fake cheeriness he always displayed around you and the other staff. He seemed....genuine. You knew you shouldn't eavesdrop, but after being so used to him having such an unstable personality, it almost seemed therapeutic to hear the young Earl indeed have it in him to be cheerful. You questioned his humanity often, so this change of attitude is quite surprising.  
You peeked through the cracked door to witness quite an odd scenario of Trancy attempting to ballroom dance with the somber butler around his cramped office. Papers were scattered everywhere, but the Earl paid no mind to the mess as he nonchalantly stepped over various documents with a crunch under his heel. Claude didn't seem as enthused with their dance but allowed the blonde brat lead the way regardless.

  
 If it weren't for the unusual looks of adoration from Trancy, this whole scenario would have been seen as comical. In contrast of his artificial cheerful sadism, his current stature reminded you of a lovesick woman. Shoulders relaxed, clinging to the butler like a long lost lover, swaying to a silent melody as if it spoke to the two of them spiritually. It seemed innocent enough, but you couldn't shake this feeling of nausea in your stomach. It just didn't seem innocent to you. Trancy already seemed a little mature for his age, but more on a sense of understanding the scandalous aspects of the adult world. Seemed he also knew how to manipulate such situations for his own gain.

  
Is this why Claude never seemed to be the result of Trancy's anger? Was it because he didn't seem to mind the Earl's outbursts or shifting behaviors? Or even react to them? Or was there something more? Still having the mind of a child, you wouldn't put it past him to pick favorites but this seemed beyond that kind of treatment. Were they possible homosexuals? You knew the death penalty for buggery had been abolished a few years back, but society still wasn't very kind to any unnatural acts of coupling. Even more so if they're underaged.

  
You were stumped. Just what exactly could you do about this? Call the police? You had a sudden spark of hope. If you were able to contact the authorities of this scandal, just maybe you would be awarded financial annulment from your debt. Then you'd be out of this horrible house and England forever! You'd be back on track of your dreams of becoming a governess on the quiet pastures of France.   
You were about to turn and leave until the door swung open and you were pulled inside by the front of your dress. You fell to the floor with a thud. You were about to protest when you looked up at the menacing gaze of the Butler. From this angle, it almost seemed like his eyes turned into a dangerous violet color. The short silence was broken with a shriek.

  
"What's this?! A bloody peeping Tom?! Why I'd never!!"

  
The Earl re-positions himself, clearly hiding his embarrassment and absently fumbles with his ribbon tied around his neck, seemingly loosened beforehand.

  
"Just what do you think you're doing, sneaking about?! If I didn't know any better, you could've been slithering around looking for goods to steal!"

  
You were stunned. Despite being caught, he didn't seem as red in the face as usual. Hoping to keep this neutral mood, you pick yourself off the ground, smoothing out your skirts. He didn't seem to suspect your intentions of reporting what you saw. Maybe you could play this off as a misunderstanding and be on your way. The Earl then faces Claude, hands balled into fists on each hip, pouting like a child.

  
"And you! Why would you end our wonderful waltz together over the small mouse?! Clearly, any of the other servants could've taken care of her if any mischief was afoot!"

  
He looked down with a pained expression. You almost felt pity for him, being more hurt over his dance partner discarding him.

  
"....You know I don't like being thrown away..."

  
You began to back away, hoping to slide out the door and run to the police station, only to be firmly caught under gloved fingers. Your shoulders caved inward as you felt yourself being embraced by the dark figure from behind. He inhaled deeply as you felt your baby hairs stand up.

  
"Forgive me, my young Lord. The dance was delightful, but it seems a....delectable scent has peaked my interests..."

  
Whatever kind of neutrality that remained on Trancy's face, now melted into a pure hot rage. You didn't even see him coming. The last thing you saw was his face flushed with red before you were knocked down to the floor. Your mind went fuzzy for a minute and didn't fully retain all the angry rants being screamed at you. 

  
"You...you... **HARLOT**!!"

  
You've never seen him this angry before. Sure, he's been sadistic and cruel, but he always seemed to be enjoying giving out such treatment. This time he seemed genuinely upset. Thompson's warning from earlier crossed your mind, much to your horror. This is what he was talking about! You felt your now racing heart drop to your stomach as he began flying into a violent fit, calling you all sorts of names under the moon.

  
"So this was your plan all along! You promiscuous snake! You wanted him this whole time, didn't you?! You're trying to take him away from me! Well, I won't _let you_!"

  
You face scrunched in confusion. Just what was he accusing you of? Why would you want any company with Claude? Other than a few glances and orders, he has barely spoken to you.  If anything, Claude has been attached to his hip. But in Trancy's current state, he clearly was not going to listen to reason. That was until Claude spoke up.

  
"Alois Trancy....Your Highness...."

  
Your eyes widened in shock as you snapped your head towards the butler. Did he just address the Earl by his name? Full name? That's gotta be probably one of the biggest insults a lower class worker could ever-

  
"Try not to be so hard on our newest member. After all, it's only natural for hum- peasants of her kind to be easily mesmerized by the presence of royalty. Compared to such a bleak lifestyle, even staff members of high-class citizens seem...exotic." 

  
Much to your surprise, Trancy seemed to have relaxed after such an explanation. So he was willing to listen to logic and reasoning? Obviously not from you of course, but it was still a relief to know. Gaining his composure, Alois then scoffs.

  
"Well when what would you suggest Claude? I don't need a lascivious female parading around in my mansion like a cat in heat."

  
Your jaw dropped. What an accusation! Like you would ever desire any of these horrid males in this mansion! You sometimes even question whether you wanted any male in your life period! You heard a faint plash behind you as you saw Claude holding a large decorative bottle. It looked quite expensive and just from the looks of it, you already knew what it was. Rose water. This damned butler never ceased to amaze you with how suspiciously prepared he always was for any situation.

  
"It seems our maid has a fondness for flowers and smelling like one. My Lord, are you aware there is a language of flowers?"

  
The blonde rolled his eyes and growled lowly.

  
"Get to the point Claude...."

  
The butler adjusted his glasses and continued.

  
" Each flower is a symbol of some form of communication for humankind. Depending on the type and even the color, you are delivering a message to the world. By applying rosewater, you are giving a message of some kind of emotional or even sexual message depending on what color rose was used to create the rosewater. We can only assume the rosewater used was of a red shade, a vibrant color depicting passionate feelings of romantic love and sex."

  
Trancy's face began to darken by the thought of you feeling anything other than professional feelings for his butler, but Claude continued before he could have another tantrum. He holds up the pricey looking bottle.

  
"But this in my hands is rose water made of nothing but the purest white roses, a symbol of honor, purification and cleansing. It would be to her best benefit we cleanse her soul of these sinful feelings."

  
Alois straightened his posture, eyes twinkling in mischief as he casually walks over to Claude and snatches the bottle from his hands.

  
"Allow me, dear Claude! After all, it is my solemn duty to provide refuge for my dearly devoted servants. Even if it is from their own dirty minds."

  
Without hesitation, he pops the bottle open and begins to pour the contents over your head. You quickly close your eyes as the cold liquid covers the top part of your body, matting into your hair, dripping down your shoulders and down into your lap. The strong pungent scent began filling the room and your lungs. You slowly began to cough.

  
"Good good, it's already starting to work! Just look at those feelings of lust melting away with nothing but pure feelings! Wonderful Claude! You always have such grand ideas!"

  
He runs and clings to his beloved butler, nuzzling into his chest. As always, there was no reaction from the solemn butler. Alois turns to you with a playful glare.

  
"Let this be a lesson to you! If you wish to smell like the dainty little flower, then you better well act like one too!"

  
You carefully wipe at your face, trying not to get any of the strong perfumed water into your eyes. But everything was soaked, including your hands. You couldn't even wipe them on your now soaked dress! Giving up you carefully open your eyes, only for them to sting a little.

  
"Now get out of my sight! The smell is starting to give me a headache! Claude, carry me to my bed!"

  
You watched as the wealthy brat being picked up like an infant by the butler and being carried out as you were left on the floor getting yourself together in this suffocating scent of roses. The more you rubbed the liquid away the more it stung and blurred your vision. Granted this wasn't the worst punishment you've ever received but it certainly didn't make you feel any better about your life's situation.

  
If today resulted in anything, you without a doubt would never love the look or smell of roses ever again.


	5. Pawn on a Tightrope

_“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” - Les Brown_

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It felt like you were hovering. Your wrists were burning. Nostrils were burning with humidity and that horrid scent of roses you've begun to hate. It was uncomfortably warm. Taking a glance around your surroundings, you couldn't fathom where you could possibly be. Everything around you illuminated a bright violet color that seemed both strange and familiar to you.  
You couldn't move. Your vision fixated on translucent strings, that gradually turned into webs, the more you stared at them. You could see no further than from the various webs and violet. Maybe you were stuck in one? But the binds felt much too strong to be flimsy web strings. With all your strength you attempted to move your head up to gaze on your current position.   
Vines. Awful dehydrated vines wrapped around your entire body, firmly keeping you in place. Dried up blood crusted in between your skin and the twines. You noticed a few dark colored stains on your dress as well. Seems you've been here for quite some time. You weren't able to move much, except your neck and torso. Taking advantage of this little freedom, you crane your body slightly to the right to look behind you. 

  
Nothing but darkness.

  
You weren't certain if it was a never ending pit, but it was to your best benefit not to squirm too much, or else you'll find out. This whole situation was confusing. There's no beginning or end, so how did you get here? How do you escape? Who put you here? How did THEY escape?  
A small red petal landed on your lip. Startled by the sudden impact, you raspberry it off you. Red petals began to snow down from the endless violet sky. This at least explained the overwhelming scent of roses.   
Down, down, down, down they fell and gently landed on your thick web of vines until you were covered in a blanket of red, soft petals. This would be pleasant if it weren't for the heat that you noticed was slowly becoming more suffocating, and adding your recent hatred of the smell. That's when you noticed him.

  
_Alois Trancy._

  
Hovering over your web, strings of web wrapped around his limbs. He seemed to be asleep. Another figure caught your eye. And another. And another. And a few more. Before you knew it, you were surrounded by various bodies hanging in the air, intertwined in webs. Some were completely covered beyond recognition, others just barely hanging by a string. You didn't like this place. It felt so lifeless. But the petals kept falling.  
He suddenly opened his eyes. You were greeted with a stern blood red eye color instead of his usual powdery blue. Strange how unfitting his natural gentle eye color is, compared to this bold crimson piercing into your flesh now. Slowly he began elevating down towards you. He looked so similar to that of a spider coming down onto their prey. You struggled against your restraints but you were firmly put in place. You looked to your sides, in hopes of some deliverance, only to freeze. Two bodies shaped forms lie next to you on both sides, covered in a cocoon of web. You already knew who they were. Your parents. Your bloody parents. The ones who got you caught in this web. All three of you were doomed to this horrid fate, tangled in the Trancy's web. Not even death could help them escape, but at least they weren't alive to witness the feeding. No. That was your job.  
Anger started to bubble in your stomach. This was all their fault. Why did you have to share their genetics that tied you to their misfortunate legacy of greed and irresponsibility? You didn't make their choices. You didn't create this debt. But you inherited it nonetheless. If only you could have been born a merchant's daughter, bakers, hell even a mortician! Anything seemed better than them.

  
"I don't understand..." You cried out to their forms. "If you knew this would be my fate, why did you do it anyway?"

  
Sobbing. The two forms began to shake in their domes, loud cries coming from beneath the threads. You'd like to think it was out of remorse, but naturally, your pessimistic side already decided it was out of self-pity. The kind of self-pity a child gives out when they've done something wrong and have to face punishment. This entire scene was too much. Surrounded by loud wailing, slowly becoming buried in your cacoon but in red petal, surrounded by their awful pungent scent followed with unbearable heat and Alois Trancy's body gliding it's way down to you. Only your face and tips of your shoes were poking out from the red as they packed in around you. You noticed his expression changed from content to sheer smugness.

  
_You will become a Rose._

  
What?! It didn't come from anyone in particular but you shoved that thought away. The sobbing from your parents didn't stop and neither did the flower rain. Alois finally spoke up.

  
"My my....another rose to add in my garden..."

  
You couldn't breathe. The flowers were suffocating you, getting heavier and heavier with each petal added. They began to feel more like lead than dainty flowers. If this keeps up, your diaphragm will crush. Still since strange depiction of Alois continued to spew floral nonsense.

  
"But you...you're special. You'll be staying here for a long...long...time..."

  
As if his strings were severed, his body drops towards you. You scream. All you see is red.

  
**Red..red...red**...then something _wet_.

  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
You gasp and swing your arms, grabbing at the petals and violently throw them to the side. You weren't going to die. Not here. You have a dream. A dream of France. Of...why are you wet?  
Eyes snap open as you gasp loudly and bolt straight up into your now soaked bed. It seems during the tossing and turning in your sleep caused your vase to knock over, spilling its contents all over you. Now you're covered in vase water and stems, rose petals scattered over your bed and the floor. In a way, your nightmare became a reality. The roses just can't seem to leave you alone, can they?  
You sigh. This definitely wasn't how you wanted to start your morning...

  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Breakfast was pleasantly quiet. It's been a few weeks since the incident of Alois pouring rose water over your head in order to "purify" you. The situation still confused you so much, also adding the final nail in the coffin for your new found hatred for anything involving roses. It took days for the strong smell to wash out of your hair and clothes. One afternoon of dish washing, you sought the comfort of your rose water in your trunk to soothe your tired hands, but the moment the scent touched your nostrils you wanted to vomit. You can't believe someone could be so talented to get one to not just hate the smell, but hate a flower altogether. But here you were. Pouring the contents of the bottle out your window, splashing to the ground below. You never wanted to smell a rose ever again.

  
Despite all this, Alois has been in a decent mood since then. He took Claude's word on the "purifying white rose water", so now does not deem you as a threat. Not sure why you would be a threat in the first place, but you happily accepted this change.

  
_Much better than getting your eye gouged out, that's for sure._

  
You gulped silently. Other than a few mandatory servant meetings, you haven't really seen that poor maid around. You still felt guilty for being the reason she may have lost her eye. You don't know if you could live with that in your mind, looking at....at...

  
_You idiot! You never even got her name!_

  
You racked your mind for any possible memory of her name being mentioned but nothing came to rise. Not even from your private conversation with Thompson. You made a mental note to keep an eye out for her and introduce yourself properly. If you even get a chance to. Your thoughts get interrupted by the young earl slamming his hands down on the table, standing up in the process and glaring in your direction.

  
"Why does **SHE** need to go with you?!"

  
You were so wrapped up in your thoughts, you completely missed the daily report Claude gives every day to Alois of current events and his schedule for the day. You could do nothing but awkwardly stand there, wondering what the fuss was about. Not even fazed at the outburst, Claude continues.

  
"Seeing our other maid is...currently unsightly..."

  
You slump your shoulders down at the reminder. Alois continues to pout as his butler continues.

  
"I'm going to need another pack mule to bring in all the items needed for your party."

  
Words cannot describe the relief you felt when Alois plopped back into his seat, seemingly satisfied with this answer. Still protective of his butler as always. You still didn't understand why he saw you as a threat. You were quite sure Claude had no interest in you whatsoever, and the feelings were very mutual. You just wanted to pay your debts and hop on the first boat to France.

  
"Very well. As long as that's how she remains to you. Now get going! This party will be magnificent!"

  
Claude beckons his head towards the door and you follow behind, not sure exactly what you're getting into.

  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
For once you were pleasantly surprised. It's been so long since you've gotten to take a step outside the manor and into town. It felt so nice being able to walk down the stone roads, taking in all the sights and sounds. You felt longing nostalgia, remembering walking down these streets with your beloved nanny as a child. Hand clutched in hers, so you wouldn't run off to the nearby toy store or bakery. You were quite a troublesome child for the poor woman. You used to be so full of life and curiosity, it often got the better of you.  
You were told to wait outside the local flower shop by Claude, as he goes in to order a ridiculous amount of flower arrangments. You didn't mind really. Being able to breathe the city air and see other human beings around was therapeutic. Though the manor was huge, being stuck like a rat in a maze could make one go mad. You looked inside through the glass window. You could faintly see Claude talking with the woman at the front desk. The tip of your boot hits one of the ceramic pots in the front of the shop as a display. You looked down and became swarmed with nostalgia.

  
_Violets..._

  
*******************************************************

  
"If only I listened to Iona..."

  
How could have gotten lost? You visit this town every week with your nanny while she runs errands. You get so excited by your surroundings and your vivid childish imagination runs wild. What seemed like an innocent walk on the lines that paved the walkway, was you performing on a tightrope at a circus. When your head in the clouds came back down to reality, you looked up to unfamiliar surroundings.

  
"She's going to be so furious with me..."

  
You kept walking in hopes to spot something familiar but nothing reached out to you so far. The roads were becoming less crowded with busy bypassers, so your little mind was starting to imagine the worst. You knew you should have stayed put as she went into the cobbler's shop, but being the energetic child you were, it was impossible to stay in one spot for too long. Now it has gotten you into all sorts of trouble.

  
_This is because of that extra biscuit I took off the dinner table last night, isn't it God?_

  
You puffed your cheeks and pouted. You're a growing girl after all! Mum and Pop always talked about eating will make you grow, so isn't it natural to have a second biscuit every now and then? Apparently so, if indulging yourself in a treat results in getting you lost. That's when you started to smell it. You weren't sure exactly what it was but all you knew that it was a strong, earthly camphor scent that reeled you in. You began to walk East, where the scent became stronger. Something that smells this unique couldn't possibly be bad, right?

  
Everything became clear when you were standing in front of a small building, covered in various plants and flowers, formally titled; "The Dark Opal; Floral and Herb Shoppe" in beautiful calligraphy on the window. You lurked around each plant, admiring their beauty and unique qualities until you could find the one that attracted you here. It was an interesting looking plant. Green leaves that faded into a beautiful indigo shade, accompanied with small violet flowers. You expected a much more girly smell, but something about it attracted you so.

  
"It's called African Blue Basil."

  
You stood up from your previously craned body to see a girl peeking from the doorway, more or less a few years older than you. The owner's daughter maybe?

  
"Pretty strong smelling plant huh? It's mainly used for cooking. Believe it or not, the entire thing is edible."

  
Your eyes widen at this. A flower you can eat? That's unheard of.

  
" My mother thinks the smell will attract customers here. Hence why she named this place the Dark Opal. That's what they call the leaves. Seeing it brought you along, I suppose it worked..."

  
She gives you a quick overall glance and you blush.

  
"But you don't seem to have money, do you? Are you lost by chance?"

  
You nod your head in embarrassment. She smiles.

  
"Why not just stay put here then? I'm sure the basil will attract your mum here soon enough. Until then, I'm Emily!"

  
Before you could introduce yourself you heard your name being called behind you.

  
"There you are! You naughty thing, wandering off like that and scaring me out of my skirts! Your parents would have had my head if they knew I lost you!"

  
Iona, your nanny, came rushing towards you, arms full of purchased goods. She took a quick glance at the shop, then at young Emily.

  
"I pray she wasn't bothering you, dear, was she?"

  
Emily shook her head.

  
"Oh no, Ma'am! In fact, her company was quite welcomed. It proved my mothers experiment to be true! Blue basil does bring in business!"

  
Later walking hand and in hand on the way home, you offered to carry the blue basil plant home so you could keep smelling the leaves closely. Iona bought a few stalks of the plant, after all, not sure if to experiment with it cooking, or because she felt guilty for you 'bothering' them. Either way, you were happy to have stumbled upon their shop. You remembered the part where Emily claimed the whole plant was edible, even the stems. You watched Iona closely, waiting for her guard to be down so you could quickly sneak a leaf to confirm this claim. You plucked a fairly big leaf and popped it into your mouth. Your face immediately grimaced, taste buds clearly not mature enough to appreciate such a taste. You began to spit it out making dramatic vomiting sounds, hoping it would get the taste out of your mouth faster. Iona shrieked.

  
"You sneaky one! I can't turn my back for a second with you!!"

  
************************************************************

  
Hearing your name being shouted snapped you out of your flashback. The door to the shop slams open to reveal a young woman, brown hair in a messy bun and a dirt-stained apron.

  
"Emily!!"

  
You give each other a long hug. Gods it felt nice to see a familiar face. She pulls away to play with the strands of your hair fondly.

  
"I never thought I would see you again! When did you get back from boarding school?"

  
Your mouth twitches slightly from the reminder of your old school, Burnswood Institution, where you spent the last few years of your childhood and pubescent years. But you quickly recovered.

  
"This year actually. I spent two extra years teaching literature and piano there."

  
Emily clapped her hands excitedly. If only she knew. She stops to take a glimpse at her current maid attire. Your cheeks flush as you forgot about your current situation.

  
"I....guess the job hunt isn't to your favor lately?"

  
You felt ashamed. How were you supposed to explain to her how you are paying back the debts of your parents to a terrible Earl who is quite literally a child? Before you could answer, Claude chimes in.

  
"Forgive me madame, but we must be going now. Perhaps you two may continue such discussions on our maids next day off. Goodbye now."

  
Claude turned to leave and you quickly curtsy to Emily. You whisper that you'll come back to visit and scurry away behind him. You don't recall the servants of the manor having any days off, so you decided to ask.

  
"Claude, what did you mean by 'next day off'? I didn't think we had any."

  
"We don't."

  
Your heart sunk. Continuing to walk towards his next destination, never turning towards you, he mentions;

  
"A servants work is never complete. However, you are an exception to this rule. I have requested from now on you have every Sunday off."

  
You were stunned. Just why would Claude do that for you? And to have it approved? You were so sure the Trancy household had it out for you, to work you to the bone until every amount of debt was paid off. Sensing all these questions, Claude answers them for you.

  
"You may be a Trancy servant, but you're still a human after all. You're not...elite like the others."

  
He continues before you can ask what he could possibly mean by that.

  
"Meaning, you are temporary. There would be no point in getting used to your help, seeing it won't be here forever. It would...throw things out of order. And it is my job to make sure things are always in order."

  
You ease up. That made a lot of sense. No point in stabilizing on a temporary pillar after all. You actually felt relieved to have a day off. Maybe you can use them to go into town and feel human again.

  
_Human..._

  
Why does that term seem so out of reach lately? Truly you still felt very much human, but something about that household and everything around you just felt...inhuman. You weren't exactly sure why. Maybe that's why everyone treats you like an outsider? Because you don't know this secret that everyone but you seemed to have? The secret of the Trancy household that makes everyone abnormally fast and perfect their work to a tee? Surely it must be just years of experience, but it felt there was so much more that you were missing.

  
"I do hope you know I have no ill will towards you, madame..."

  
You snap your head up to gaze at the Butler, who's now gazing at you over his shoulder. That came out of the blue. He still looked devious as ever, so it was difficult to sense the sincerity of his words.

  
"You were quite an unexpected pawn in the Trancy's game of chess. As I've mentioned, it is always a butler's job to be sure everything is in order. Having a new piece on the board changes the original strategy. Now it's a matter of working on the new piece, or changing it all together."

  
You thought this was a strange way to express servant direction as a game of chess, but you decided not to question it. Maybe this is why you're an outsider to them. You don't quite understand these metaphors and secret meanings. But you understood in a way what he meant. 

  
"So believe me, we are on the same side. I want you out of the manor as much as you do. My plan is foolproof, I'd rather not have any...improvisions. After all, pawns are usually the first to be captured."

  
 A realization suddenly hits you.

  
"Is that why everyone makes me feel so out of place? So...Lord Trancy grows tired of me and annuls our agreement? Or is it something else? Is it why that incident with the rose water occurred?"

 

  
He smirks.  
"I can't speak for everyone, but for that night I dreadfully wished to get out of that horrid dance. And you just happened to be at the right place at the right time."  
Your jaw dropped. Granted it wasn't the worst treatment you received in the Manor, but it was still unpleasant being thrown under the carriage like that. All so Claude could get out an awkward situation.

  
"Maybe you're a helpful pawn after all."

  
You huffed. Hopefully, you won't have to be a "pawn" for long.


End file.
